Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Randomize
