Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
