I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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