So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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