look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
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Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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