from now on my penis is your penis
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize