R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
