theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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