Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize