I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
