Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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