I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
