apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
