I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
