Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
