I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
