i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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