Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
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Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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