i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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