absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
