Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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