would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
