sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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