is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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