those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
