pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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