I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
