you guys were way drunker than both of me
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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