They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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