i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
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I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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