He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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