Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
