We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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