you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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