Fine. I'll sleep in my office
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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