Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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