I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
