fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No subtext here. People are naked.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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