we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
