Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Randomize