Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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