eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
