why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
