I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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