he shaved USA in his pubs
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
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All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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