Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
