Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
