see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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