That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
thus making me awesome and them whores
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
