Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
