Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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