I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
