Michael Bay diarrhea
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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