Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
